I am not an atheist. All around me, the smartest people I know have staked their flags in that camp. So far, I haven’t joined them. But while I am not an atheist, I also can’t say for certain that I believe in God. I won’t say because I am not smart enough to declare it either way. The world is so vast, so many things remain out of our control, miracles do exist—how can I say for certain? And so I continue to ponder.

I do, however, passionately believe in kindness. Therefore, when someone identifies as Christian, I take it at face value that they put others above themselves. I also believe that if you are going to tell people about your belief—and so many do so with incredible hubris—you need to walk the walk of all that implies.
I had dinner with one such evangelical recently. We don’t see each other often but share ties that will always keep us in tentative contact. Somehow, after the subjects of their offspring and my continued spinsterdom were exhausted, the subject of Bruce Jenner came up. For this person, bringing up Jenner’s name was a form of small talk. No doubt, he had done it before in like-minded company.

As he broached the subject—“What do you think about Bruce Jenner?”—I held my breath, hoping he would surprise me.
Would he marvel at the courage it takes to talk about being transgender? Would he share his wishes (and mine) that such courage can only exist to help others? Maybe he would simply profess confusion, a perfectly reasonable stance. After all, it’s OK to admit you don’t know. We’re all learning here. (This was pre-Caitlyn, btw)

Um, no.

“I think he just wants to wear women’s clothes,” he joked.

And scene.

I mean, how do you converse with someone who feels that way? I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up that people will ever change. And to be fair, I am not and never will be emotionally close with this person. In his own lazy way he was attempting to make conversation. And what’s better to discuss than current events, right?

The problem is that this person’s most identifiable characteristic is his faith. He prides himself on it. Therefore, I want him to think more deeply about the human race. And that’s where I continually find myself disappointed with those who always make sure to inform you of their religious superiority but never actually stop to consider others outside of their bubbles.

What if I were transgender? Or someone close to me was? How would this person treat me going forward? Would it make him think beyond a punchline? I don’t identify as Christian but I do try and relate to others and respect them as they are. It’s all we can do. I wanted to dare him to listen to that heartbreaking episode of This American Life (episode 374) that focused on transgender children. Did he think those 8-year-olds were a joke? I mean, why is it always OK to make fun of people who are different but still considered impolite to challenge people over dinner?

So yeah, this is why people should stick to talking about sports and the weather.