It started as a whim, a way to escape the silliness of what I’ve come to dread: the Facebook Birthday*. And so this winter, on the cusp of my 43rd anniversary of being alive, I decided to avoid it altogether and disabled my profile.

And here’s what happened, in pretty much this order:

Elation. (Mine.)
Panic. (From the two friends who noticed.)
Nothing. (From the rest of my friends.)

I had the best of intentions of returning to the madness at some point. As aggravating as some people may be, I admit it’s an easy way to stay in touch. But the truth is, I don’t miss it. In fact, not only do I not miss it, I’m pretty sure I’m improving my psyche by staying away. I like to say in every situation, there are two kinds of people: those who care about what others think and those who care too much. And in my previous FB life, I was an Olympic gold medalist when it came to the latter.

I stopped fretting about why Friend A never liked any of my posts or why B seemed to like everything I posted. No longer was I being annoyed by C and her crazy politics. And D? What a relief to miss the 2,000 pics of her Gender Reveal. What to do with unwanted friend invites? Now I don’t have to worry!

It’s so First World, isn’t it? And for those of you who excel at compartmentalizing, surely this is much hand wringing over nothing, but in talking to others, I know I am not alone in the insecurities prompted by social media. To Friend or Not To Friend is a very real dilemma at some point for everyone–whether you socialize virtually or not.

These days, my social media presence is confined to Twitter. The brevity of it, the very public nature of the platform, forces me to be careful in what I share, and at the same time, let it go. When the average life of a tweet is less than 30 minutes, you expect your tweets to go unnoticed. And because I have fewer “real” friends on Twitter, there are no expectations attached to things I post. This serves me well. In expecting to be ignored, I am somehow unburdened. On Facebook, the algorithm sometimes made me feel like I was being ignored by my own friends. My ego just isn’t built for that. Trust me, there is no audience more frustrating to a writer than a FB audience. FB isn’t meant for brilliance, although if you are brilliant at Facebook, you are likely brilliant at life. You probably even enjoy the FB Birthday.

*Background: Call me selfish but I’ve always enjoyed sharing my birthday with those who don’t need a reminder. And don’t get me started on the Office Birthday.